Turning 40 – A Reflection
So what does it mean for me to turn forty ?
In someways nothing, yet in others everything. I have decided that although it is just a number and does not define me, it is a good point to reflect on my very varied and busy life to date.
Looking back it seems incredible to me the things I have done, witnessed, experienced and felt in my life time.
My life really has been a journey of discovery, learning to be happy in my own skin, learning to see beyond what people want you to see.
I have found that life works better if you stay true to yourself, when I follow my heart and do what I know is right, things just are better, I feel better.
Experience has shown me that doing the right thing is not always appreciated by others, with some the more you give the more they want to take. This I find incredible, but have learned to find a way to step back and let them get on with it.
When the chips are down you find out who your true friends are, you find out who are fake and who are genuine, true love in its many forms shines through, when you need help and the other person has nothing to gain. I am truly blessed to have a number of genuine people in my life that have held my hand psychically or emotionally when I needed them. I have also been very let down by people I felt, thought would be there and weren’t. It is not always easy to walk away from other people, from their dramas but it has proved the best thing to do. Leaving a feeling of peace and calm and a easier flow in my life.
It is not easy to let go for someone like me, a tiny bit of a control freak, it has taken years of practice and I have to admit I have lapses from time to time.
My life has been a roller coaster of events, places, opportunities and people, not always good, but all have been an opportunity to learn and have led me to where I am right now, where I believe I am meant to be.
Some people, I have noticed are only meant to be in my life for a short time, to teach me something, others are always there.
I never thought that when my fortieth birthday came around that neither of my parents would be here to share it. I miss them both every day, but as time goes on, I have found a different type of normal. I talk to them everyday, but it is not the same. Yet from these great tragedies in my life have come my greatest lessons. Nursing my dying Mum proved that I could do anything. Speaking at both funerals showed me that even at those immensely difficult times I could still do something outside my comfort zone.
My parents untimely deaths have given me an even stronger sense of appreciation of the things around me.
I want to do something amazing with my life, I want to help others, I want to leave a Legacy.
Every adventure and there has been many, have lead me here, sitting at my computer in my beautiful house in Spain with my wonderful family downstairs.
I am excited at what the next forty years will bring to me.
Right now I am close to finishing the writing stage of my first novel, I hope that I will be able to find first a proof reader and then a publisher. People have always turned up at the right time before, so I feel sure they will again. I have a number of ideas for other novels, who would have thought from a medioca student at school, having to re-sit my English GCSE at night school, would turn into someone who blogs and writes novels !
About twelve years ago I met a man through a network marketing company I was at the time working with, now he has given me an extra ordinary opportunity, to help people whilst creating a Legacy. My life has never followed a plan and that has given me an amazing chance to experience the incredibly.
I hope that you have in enjoyed my ramblings about turning forty.
Here’s to another forty years of adventure.