Love and Marriage
‘Love and Marriage go together like a horse drawn carriage’
It’s true they do, but it is not enough to love the person you are married to.
Marriage takes a lot of things combine to make it work.
In order to have a happy and healthy marriage I have found that you have to put all number of elements into the cooking pot.
Being able to share your life with another person take lots of give and take and sacrifice.
Having lived on my own for a number of years I was used to doing what I wanted when I wanted, eating when I was hungry and what I fancied. When you throw another person into the mix, suddenly you find other people have their own ways they like to do this, the food they like, that you may not.
I am a vegetarian and have been for all my adult life, my husband is not, which often means two meals being cooked. He likes meat and does not enjoy a lot of veggie food. I have no interest in eating meat again, so cook two meals.
When I lived on my own I liked to clean at 2am, but my husband doesn’t like to be woken by the hoover, so I had to change my cleaning habits. I think the neighbours were pleased about that change.
I see marriage as being a compromise, to stay together you have to work together.
My husband and I are very, very different people, but our marriage works because we compromise. We also encourage each other in our chosen activities. Many ventures and adventures we have and continue to embark on together, but we still have our individual identities.
I believe holding on to your own identity is very important. How can you be happy in a relationship if you are not happy in the most important relationship you have, the one with yourself.
A mistake I made when I was young and I see people making all the time is the belief that if someone else loves them they will be happy. They will not, I wasn’t.
To be happy in a marriage or a relationship you have to be happy with who you are, you have to be prepared to know what to stand up for, what’s important to you and what’s not.
Marriage is not all Champagne and roses, it is give and take.
Most issues can be resolved with communication, keep talking and you will not go far wrong.
Air your grievances, but ask yourself how important it is.
My Husband suddenly developed a horrible habit of whistling, yes a very minor thing but it was driving me mad, as much as I tried to not get let it annoy me, it just grated and grated. I spoke to him and he now saves his whistling for when I am not around, making for a calmer me and a better marriage. Sometimes the small things are the ones that have the most impact.
Wishing you all a happy and healthy marriage xxx